Funny Friday

The other day I was playing Pokemon (don't judge me!) and I was faced with a terrible decision. I would have to choose between a turtle, a monkey, or a penguin. Of course, this prompted me to ask the age-old question:

Turtle, monkey, or penguin?

Turtles

Turtles are generally awesome because of their shell. Anytime a turtle is like, "Whoa buddy! Danger!" he can just hide in his shell and chill until things are cool. Turtles are good at swimming and they have strong mouths for eating stuff. Other positive things about turtles include the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Franklin, and turtle soup. The spanish word for turtle is tortuga, which is fun to say. Tortuga!

Monkeys



Monkeys are more obviously awesome. They're like people, only smarter, or something like that. Anyway, monkeys are fast and agile, being able to jump around trees and stuff. Monkeys were some of the first astronauts, even before humans. There have been plenty of famous monkeys throughout history, including Curious George, sock monkeys, Koko, Abu, Donkey Kong, AiAi, and the Rally Monkey. Monkeys can also ride bicycles.

Penguins

Penguins are popular mostly because they look like tuxedoes. Or tuxedoes look like penguins, I can never figure out which. Penguins are apparently important enough to have a movie about them with Morgan Freeman in it. I didn't see it, but yeah. Penguins are so cool that they can chill at the North Pole without freaking out. The list of penguins holds such illustrious names as Chilly Willy, Feathers McGraw, Pablo, Tux, King Dedede, and Oswald Cobblepot. There is a professional sports team named after this arctic animal.

The verdict?

I want them all! A turmonpen or a tlekeyguin.

Thoughtful Thursday

Foolish Phrases VII

"People are weird."

There are many variations of the above phrase, including but not limited to, "People are crazy," "People are strange," "People are fake," etc. What makes all of these phrases foolish? The truth is that all of these phrases are inherently subjective. We just those around us based upon our own prejudices and limited information, and come to grand conclusions such as, "people are weird". So, while you are telling me that "people are weird", just know that I am listening to you, smiling, and thinking, "Wow, what a weird person." And of course, someone else is looking at me and thinking the exact same thing. So judge not, lest ye be judged.

Thoughtful Thursday

It's really hot. It's so hot, even I think it's hot. Normally, I'm the guy who thinks that it should be 90 degrees and humid every day of the year. But the thermostat in my house says that it's about 80 degrees right now and it feels really hot.

What is heat anyways? Is it the absence of cold? Is it particles moving fast? Is it something you get from the oven?

Whatever it is, there's definitely too much of it in my room right now. The sun has already set, but all day it was raining heat. My laptop gives off a ton of heat; even my own body gives off more heat than I can bear right now.

I could go to the freezer, of course, and get some ice cubes. They would be really cold and I think that'd feel nice. But how do you make ice cubes? You plug in the freezer to an outlet, and electricity comes from the power plant, which is probably burning oil, gas, or coal. In order to get this cold ice cube, a whole lot of heat has to be given off.

The same is true of the air conditioner, which also uses electricity. And yet I turn on the air conditioner and put ice cubes in my drink, all for the sake of getting rid of heat.

Would I die without air conditioning and ice cubes? No way. But I use them anyway despite the fact that I'm contributing to pollution and all the other bad things that come from the overconsumption of resources. All for the sake of comfort, which apparently is more valuable than the economy and the environment.

Think about it.