Funny Friday

The other day I was playing Pokemon (don't judge me!) and I was faced with a terrible decision. I would have to choose between a turtle, a monkey, or a penguin. Of course, this prompted me to ask the age-old question:

Turtle, monkey, or penguin?

Turtles

Turtles are generally awesome because of their shell. Anytime a turtle is like, "Whoa buddy! Danger!" he can just hide in his shell and chill until things are cool. Turtles are good at swimming and they have strong mouths for eating stuff. Other positive things about turtles include the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Franklin, and turtle soup. The spanish word for turtle is tortuga, which is fun to say. Tortuga!

Monkeys



Monkeys are more obviously awesome. They're like people, only smarter, or something like that. Anyway, monkeys are fast and agile, being able to jump around trees and stuff. Monkeys were some of the first astronauts, even before humans. There have been plenty of famous monkeys throughout history, including Curious George, sock monkeys, Koko, Abu, Donkey Kong, AiAi, and the Rally Monkey. Monkeys can also ride bicycles.

Penguins

Penguins are popular mostly because they look like tuxedoes. Or tuxedoes look like penguins, I can never figure out which. Penguins are apparently important enough to have a movie about them with Morgan Freeman in it. I didn't see it, but yeah. Penguins are so cool that they can chill at the North Pole without freaking out. The list of penguins holds such illustrious names as Chilly Willy, Feathers McGraw, Pablo, Tux, King Dedede, and Oswald Cobblepot. There is a professional sports team named after this arctic animal.

The verdict?

I want them all! A turmonpen or a tlekeyguin.