Funny Friday

"The Joys of Incoherence"

I get really bad allergies every spring. Picture gushing rivers of snot and eyes redder than brick. That’s what you’ll see if you look at me during allergy season.

But I am not without my defenses. My favorite is called, “Stay Home and Keep Your Face Covered with a T-shirt”. However, during the days that I need to be productive and actually leave the house, I call upon my little helper: Loratadine.

Loratadine is a useful anti-histamine. I would do a full product review, but I no longer have entirely good things to say about this product.

I have been taking Loratadine regularly during the spring season for several years now. However, this year, I switched brands for the sake of saving money. Rarely has being cheap hurt me so badly and at the same time caused so much joy.

It was a Monday. I was oozing liquids from the various orifices of my head. I decided that today would be the day that I began using my new batch of drugs.

Now, the most attractive thing about Loratadine, besides the whole dealing with allergies thing, is that it does not induce drowsiness. At least it didn’t. The problem was that on that Monday, for reasons that are probably linked to my use of a different brand, this Loratadine threatened to put me to sleep right smack in broad daylight.

Now I have no problem falling asleep while the sun shines overhead. The real problem was that I had to not only give a short presentation in class, but also start and finish a 1500-word paper by midnight.

As it turned out, these things were not problems at all. You see, the myth of higher education is that everyone really understands (or cares about) what is going on in class. So when I (or anyone else) start spewing incoherent ramblings in class, well, there isn’t what you would call accountability. In fact, I realized, that was the best presentation I’ve ever given; nobody raised a single point of criticism. Of course, this was undoubtedly due to the fact that nobody understood me, but one can’t be picky about positive reception of one’s work.

As the day proceeded, I discovered something new; I was not merely incomprehensible in public, I was also incapable of being understood in private conversation! (This is only slightly different from my usual social interaction.) The best part was, everyone I spoke to held up the pretense that they understood every word that was coming out of my mouth. I’m not sure why they did this, but I soon realized my newfound freedom.

I could go anywhere and say anything. This is the joy of being incoherent.

Remember that paper? I put the most haphazard collection of letters on a page and handed it in. And guess what? I got an A.

Have you ever wanted to tell someone how you really feel about him or her? With incoherence, spew your invective! They will smile and nod.

Got a secret that you really want to keep a secret? Well, when you’re incoherent, you and your secret are absolutely safe.

Important speech to give? Just add gestures, and you’ll be a hit with the crowd!

Have to meet your significant other’s relatives for the first time? Get some incoherence and watch your worries fade away!

I could write volumes on ways to defuse awkward situations, but perhaps the best advice is also the simplest: be incoherent.

Big job interview? Be incoherent and you’re sure to get a very nice job offer.

Perhaps the best thing about being incoherent is your improved marketability as a writer. Want to know how to get rich quick? Get some incoherence and sit down and write a book. You will immediately be picked up by a major publishing house and a friendly agent who will make sure your work finds its way on to bestseller lists and Oprah’s Book Club. If you have even a bit of luck, you will be lauded by critics and become a part of the classic pantheon of incoherent authors that are read by students and pretentious people everywhere.

Thoughtful Thursday

Foolish Phrases IV

"In this day and age..."

Unfortunately, I often hear this phrase followed by something along the lines of how people are so wicked and sinful today, as if at some time in the past the average person was somehow more virtuous. Have you people read your Bibles??? (triple question mark!)

Let's briefly examine the book of Genesis. Hypothetically, the earliest people should be the ones who abstain from the "wicked deeds of today". But what does Genesis say?

(Sin) - Chapter:Verse
Shame - 3:10
Blame - 3:12
Anger - 4:5
Murder - 4:8
Lies - 4:9
Sarcasm - 4:9
Incest - 5
Wickedness - 6:5
Corruption - 6:12
Drunkenness - 9:21
Peeping - 9:22
Dishonor - 9:22
War - 14:2
Adultery - 16:3
Homosexuality - 19:5
Rape - 19:5
Disregard for One's Children - 19:8
Deceit - 27:24
Betrayal - 37:18
False Testimony - 39:19

This is some of the variety of sins found in just the first book of the Bible! Check out all the rest of the debauchery throughout the Bible; and before you criticize the people of today, remember that these sins have been committed for thousands of years.

Instead, remember the words of Solomon:

"That which has been is that which will be,
And that which has been done is that which will be done.
So there is nothing new under the sun."
(Ecclesiastes 1:9)

Does this mean that we are without hope? Will things ever change? On the contrary, they certainly can, but we must stop looking underneath the sun for change and instead look to the heavens.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
(2 Corinthians 5:17)

(NASB)

Poetry Tuesday

"Stairs"

Falling
Down the
Stairs is not
Fun. It hurts and
People will laugh at
You. Make sure to hold
The rail if you don't want to
End up bruised and battered.

Monday Monologue

Optimized Workspace

For those of us who spend our days fulfilling tasks with various degrees of tediosity* and difficulty, it can be difficult at times to stay productive. One of the most important and most overlooked aspects of productivity is developing an optimized workspace.

What is an optimized workspace? This is a fancy term (invented by myself) to describe an environment where you can comfortably accomplish tasks. This could be your desk in your office, the garage where you fix stuff or the chair in which you read. The problem is that these workspaces are too often in a state that actually hinders productivity.

The number one obstacle to an optimized workspace is clutter. This should be pretty obvious; it's hard to concentrate when you're up to your armpits in garbage. Make a consistent appointment to clean up your workspace. For example, make sure that every Friday you clean up your desk, sharpen your pencils, sweep the floor, do the laundry, etc. While periodically cleaning can be tedious, it pays off dividends when an emergency arises and you don't have time to worry about all the post-its you've had on your wall for weeks.

It's also important to consider more subtle factors in your workspace. Is there proper lighting? Is your chair comfortable? Do you find yourself searching for things at a critical time? Do you spend more time figuring out what you're supposed to be doing instead of doing it?

Unfortunately, we can't control every aspect of our environments. If our neighbor decides to blast their music while we're trying to study, there's not much we can do about that. An annoying co-worker has to be worked with, not removed. If you decide that you'd rather have a carpet instead of a hardwood floor, that might have to wait for a while.

But it can be surprising how much a little change can improve our performance. Here are the most common ways that I optimize my workspace:

Clean up the desk

If you find yourself staring at stacks of paper on your desk that have been there so long you can't remember what they're meant for, it's time to put those in a filing cabinet, or better yet, the garbage. Cans of soda, inkless pens, and random knickknacks can find a home in the garbage as well.

Clean up the desktop

Does the desktop on your computer look like a forest of files? Do you find yourself spending a lot of time searching your computer for necessary things? Organize the things you click on according to this principle: Keep the things you use the most the closest.

Open a window

If you find yourself feeling stuffy, let some air in! While the air outside may not be at the most desirable temperature, at least leave the window open for a few minutes to air out the room before turning the air conditioner or heater back on.

Sit (or stand) straight

Remember when your mom told you not to slouch? It sure is hard to focus when your back is killing you. Good posture is the way to have relaxed muscles.

And to illustrate this point, I give you this scene from Men In Black:



* The quality of being tedious

A College Question Answered

Michael says,

I’d like you to make a post regarding college curriculum. Why does it even make sense for me to take biology when my major is DEAF STUDIES? I’m studying American Sign Language and Deaf culture…I’m not trying to conduct experiments as to WHY people go deaf…

Ah, yes, what you are saying is a common complaint of students who are frustrated by distribution requirements. I am usually a firm proponent of obtaining a broad education, so I will speak in favor of it now.

First, in an abstract sense, what area of study truly stands alone? History, for example, is inextricably tied up with political science, archaeology, sociology, and economics, just to name a few. Although a chemist might claim independence of the physicist, any practical application of their work requires an understanding of both chemistry and physics. Perhaps mathematics, in its abstract idealizations, may be able to stand on its own strength, but even that is an issue for discussion in the realm of philosophy. And of course, the field of neuroscience is involved in everything because everything we know is contained in our brains.

My point is that while we might be under the impression that we only need to study a limited field of knowledge in order to function well in our chosen career, when it comes to the actual application of our talents in our professions and vocations we are much better served by having a wide spread of knowledge that may or may not have obvious relations for what we think we will be doing.

Now, you might say, that is all well and good, but still, what does biology have to do with Deaf Studies? If you were in a vocational, technical, or trade school, I might agree that your time in biology class might be better spent elsewhere. However, Deaf Studies is only your major. By no means should majoring in a particular field unalterably mean that you must pursue a career in that field, and your college curriculum is set up with this in mind. As for myself, I am planning to graduate with a Bachelors of the Arts with a major in English. At my school, only about a quarter of all the classes I have and will take can be classified as “English” classes. Rather, I am obtaining a broad education that will enable me to have quite a few options when considering a career and further education.

This is really the point of having distribution requirements, which can have you taking classes that you would never consider taking otherwise. As an added bonus, you may sign up for an introductory class that initially seems uninteresting to you and later find out that you have a real aptitude and interest in that field.

However, there is a good way and a bad way to handle these requirements on the part of the college or university.

Bad way: stick students who are majoring in the particular field in the same class as the students who are being forced to take the class. It is easy to see how this can quickly lead to problems.

Good way: provide separate classes for non-majors that take into account that the students taking these classes may not be the most enthusiastic and may not have developed certain skills that would be expected of students specializing in that field.

These three kinds of classes are fundamentally different. A class for majors is interested in teaching the material to students well enough for them to use that knowledge in their further studies as well as any potential practical application. A class for non-majors should work a little harder to make the material relevant for the students as well as having reasonable expectations for the capabilities of the students. Also, a class for non-majors will often be focused on teaching the methods of thought and approaches rather than purely technical details. A mixed class has to try to achieve all of these goals, which is impossible, or else leave a significant portion of the class utterly dissatisfied.

If you find yourself studying something that seems useless to you, look again. You never know which pieces of information will prove vital for you.

That said, some things aren’t useful for everybody. Nobody can study everything; choose carefully what classes you take, what you read, and who you listen to.

A Study Question Answered

Michael asks,

As a fellow collegian student,ok this is a long question…

What study strategy would you recommend to a student who normally absorbs everything through the lecture while recording notes and normally would do better on exams when they don’t study their notes than when they do?

Reason for asking is I have a Biology II professor that lectures with no explanation, only terms, then definition, then terms, terms, terms, and definition. The whole class is so busy recording notes that they can’t absorb or process anything that the professor is saying. She just goes on and on and on and on.

IF you attempt to stop her and ask her to clarify, which is what she asked us to do in the beginning of both semesters (This is my second time taking the class with the same professor), she just goes off on a tangent and insults you for not keeping up.

Advice?

I think the first thing to remember is that professors don’t get paid to be nice. Sure, most teachers could probably do a better job at teaching if they had a little more niceness sprinkled on them, but it’s just not in the job description.

On top of that, the average professor has to deal with a lot of frustrating things. Should a professor allow that frustration to bleed over into their classroom manner? Of course not, but there’s really no punishment (besides negative student feedback) for behaving insensitively. The bottom line is, don’t be surprised when you encounter a cranky professor and don’t kill yourself worrying about it.

With that said, your primary concern is learning the material and/or getting the grade you want in the course.

It’s not unusual to feel like lecture time is unhelpful for your personal studies. It is very difficult, especially in larger classrooms, to teach in a manner that every student can find useful. If you read the material, pay attention in class, and still don’t feel comfortable with what you’re studying, it’s time to take more social approaches to learning.

Here are some things to try:

1. Office Hours

Arrange a time to meet with a professor and/or TA. Show up with specific questions about specific material; hopefully they will be able to help.

2. Study with other students

Whether it’s as simple as asking someone else in the class, or as involved as getting a tutor or gathering a few classmates to study together, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You will get three basic types of responses:
- students who know everything already and are too busy to help you (these are the students who will graduate and become like the professor you described)
- students who are just as confused as you are
- students who can answer your question or at least give another way to look at the material

In my experience, most students are in the second group. But the idea that I’m trying to get across is to talk to those around you. You never know who might be able to help.

Foolish Phrases (Part III)

“Studies have shown…”

Really? What kind of studies? More importantly, can you show me where to find these studies so that I can read them? This sort of thing (showing your readers or listeners where you got your information from) is called a reference. References are useful in demonstrating that you are not just making up whatever you are talking about. Unfortunately, in many instances where this phrase is used the speaker has no references and doesn’t know what he/she is talking about. Instead, they read or heard a “studies have shown…” and are merely repeating what they have heard because of confirmation bias. So, this particular phrase is especially dangerous because it actually propagates itself. It’s like a virus. Beware.

Alternate solutions:

- Use a footnote or endnote
- Include a link (if you found your information on the internet (which is another issue))
- “As you will find in this particular study in this particular year…”
- “Mr. Authority On The Subject Says…”